Day 7 of the diet

SO i have been at this diet for one full week and have lost....*drumroll*.......EIGHT pounds. yay. I hardly even had to work out. Of course i don't expect to lose that much EVERY week, but i do expect to lose around 3-4 pounds each week. I'll be at my goal by my birthday ( Dec.12). yeah so i have plenty of weeks ahead of me.

I'm not gonna lie....it's hard. In fact, today my lovely mother decided to bring KFC home... *sigh*

I just went to my room and reminded myself why i'm doing this and that soon it will be over. HOWEVER, that doesn't mean i will be able to eat KFC off the diet. That sort of thing will be ONLY on special occasions when i can't really avoid that type of food. For the most part i am going to have to change my lifestyle completely. I was eating pretty healthy before...ex:

B- wheat toast with egg white
L- peanut butter sandwich
S-wheat thins and string cheese
D- grilled chicken fajita w peppers


But THAT was my idea of dieting... truthfully, that is a pretty balanced diet and balanced means you don't lose OR gain. Plus i would mess up ONE time and then say "forget it" and completely go the other route...like i have no idea how to have a normal relationship with food where i like food, i eat when i'm hungry, i stop when i'm full---but I'm not addicted....food itself and living a gluttonous lifestyle. I mean, why do we look down on alcoholics and drug addicts..... gluttony is the EXACT same thing. Seeking food to satisfy a need i have instead of seeking God. This diet has taught me that what's important isn't so much that i lose 40-50 pounds, but that i recognize i have a problem. A sin problem. It is so much more than i like to eat because it tastes good and makes me feel happy. It's an idol. I may never stop struggling with this one, but at least i know that i need to change. I can't go back and forth between dieting and bingeing. I just can't.

Once i am done ( my birthday), i will eat a balanced diet and just try not to provoke that side of myself. At first i was thinking " oooh....what and where can i eat for my birthday.." but now im thinking ill just spend it with friends and family. No cake for me. because you know what is SO ironic? Rewarding myself with FOOD, after a diet. It's a vicious cycle, and not a good idea. I'm not saying i will NEVER eat cake...but I need no reward. I need God. I need to seek him for satisfaction instead of anything else in this word, because as you can see--- nothing.else.satisfies.